As the great Bob Marley once sang,
‘don’t worry about a thing, cause every little thing gonna be alright’.
Last night I was majorly FREAKING OUT. Of the 4 topics I needed to know (at the least) for EU law, I knew one (barely) and it was 12am already. I kept debating between sleeping and revising some more until eventually, at about 1am, I decided enough is enough. If I didn’t know anything now, I wasn’t going to learn anything new. So I went to sleep and thought I’d do some revising in the morning.
I woke up pretty nervous, but not nervous enough to get out of bed apparently. See, the weather’s been pretty awful since exams have begun – some kind of pathetic fallacy perhaps – so it was so cold in my room that I loathed the thought of actually getting out of my warm and cosy bed. Besides, I really did not want to face reality. So I put 15 minutes on my phone timer and went back to sleep. About 4 more lots of 15 minutes later, I finally decided to get up and my exam was less than an hour away.
I begrudgingly got ready, sat myself on my bed, turned to face my wall of scrambly mind maps in the hopes that some, just some, of the knowledge on paper would seep into my brain via a process of diffusion. Of course, as soon as I left my room I realised that it was all in vain. I knew so little that I honestly considered not going to the exam – what’s the point? I thought. But when I finally got to that damn-ugly-white-slaughter-house tent, I thought to myself “ok. SO you don’t know anything. Just write whatever you want. Isn’t that the kind of freedom you’ve always wanted? You can write whatever bullshit that comes to mind, and some professor at Oxford will have to read it. That poor sod. Fuck EU Law. This is about you and giving up isn’t something you do.”
Yep. In that moment that I walked into the tent, I realised that none of this mattered from the outside. This mattered from the inside. This is about me. It is about me reminding myself that when I set my mind to it, I can do anything – i.e. sit through a 3 hour exam and write 4 essays on law that I don’t know.
And now I have done that, I suddenly feel that none of this can be that bad. Worrying didn’t help. All I needed was some confidence and perspective. Believing in yourself is key. And with that, I give you another quote from the great Winston Churchill this time
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
And once more in French because it sounds a lot cooler doesn’t it?
Le succès n’est pas final, l’échec n’est pas fatal : c’est le courage de continuer qui compte